The Art of the Argument… When You are so Wrong.


Sarah Pollans, Perspectives Editor

Okay! Here we are! In the middle of a debate! Honestly, I have pretty high hopes here: I have a couple of good points ready and some rebuttals prepared. What could go wrong, am I right? Of course I am; I always am. Nobody can prove me wrong, and most definitely not in a small little disagreement like this, where I am clearly correct. And hey, this argument is going pretty well. My points are stumping them. 

They might as well be hanging on by a thread.


Oh, hang on, that was actually a good idea they just brought up. Well, at least it was just the one. Obviously, my ideas are better; I just thought that the one they mentioned was generally alright if I really had to give them that.


Wait, there’s another good point! How did they even think of that many? I mean, I definitely thought of more than them, but I am a bit shocked they’ve been able to keep this up for so long. I also am a bit shocked that I haven’t thought of a counter for their point yet, so I think I better get on that.


You know, I usually wouldn’t say this, but they might be really on to something here. I’m not quite sure what to do at this point, but… hang on… could I be wrong? No, that is just impossible, I’ve built such an obviously brilliant, impenetrable offense, and my defense strategy is denying everything they say!


Okay, slow down. What if I was wrong? Not saying that I am, but let’s evaluate both sides here; you have to be fair to the argument, after all. If I am wrong, what else could I be wrong about? Everything? What about the last argument I had? And the one before that? Where does the madness end? What am I supposed to do now? I don’t know what it’s like to be wrong. This is a very new experience! Obviously, this is still all completely hypothetical; I sincerely doubt that I am wrong, but what would I do if I were?

Here we go, I have an idea: I will simply repeat the argument that I made earlier. It worked then, and it’ll have to work again. See, there we go! Their jaws are dropped, and their minds are blown.

Wait a minute, they just refuted it the same way they did last time! That was awfully rude of them, and they even used my own words against me! I feel like I’m slowly losing sight of how this argument is going to pan out. Also, for the record, I think reusing the same ideas twice in an argument seems really cheap to me, and it shouldn’t be allowed.


I have planned to adopt a new strategy: if I don’t say anything, maybe they’ll piece it together that I’m actually right in all of this, and they’ll finally agree with me.

And now they’re accusing me of having no other arguments against them. Which, again, for the record, I totally do. I’m simply… saving them for future use. Gotta save up on these things, you know?

Well, I guess this is the end of our little squabble. I have no other defenses to put forth, and they seem altogether pretty done with themselves as well. Perhaps they were right, and I was wrong. I still have some doubts about that, but I do appreciate a good fight.