When the conversation about mental health turns into a competitive sport, everyone loses. Welcome to the Trauma Olympics, where pain and suffering are treated as medals to be won.
Competitive victimhood, the original form of the Trauma Olympics, first began to gain prominence in mainstream media during the 20th century, due to increased attention to human rights. As more social media users — and in turn, students — were exposed to the idea, this phenomenon began to manifest in children and teenagers as the Trauma Olympics seen in today’s society.
The Trauma Olympics, or competitive victimhood, is a phenomenon where individuals discuss their personal traumatic experiences to compete over who had it worst. Said Christopher Hickey, a school therapist at CHS, “The Trauma Olympics [likely] stems from the herd mentality of competition that shows up at CHS and elsewhere.” Though being perceived as a victim often leads to feelings of vulnerability, certain individuals feel the desire to bring up their own experiences for a momentary ego boost.
This phenomenon can be seen in several forms, but it most commonly manifests as one-upping each other’s trauma. This approach diminishes others’ personal experiences by claiming that one’s own experience was more difficult or “valid.” Another type of competitive victimhood, the Qualification Competition, uses medical diagnoses to form hierarchies. Here, individuals use “more official” diagnoses to reduce the validity of others’ struggles.
Competition of severity, a practice where society creates a perceived hierarchy of trauma, is also an example of this. People often deem certain forms of trauma as more severe and therefore more “valid.” But by labeling others’ trauma as invalid, many are taught to measure their own trauma against others’ stories, leading them to discount their own pain if it does not meet an arbitrary standard of severity.
A series of 17 experiments conducted by PubMed Central in 2021 shows evidence supporting the “Virtuous Victim effect,” where society perceives victims as more morally righteous because of the mistreatment they endured. Those who exaggerate their traumatic experiences exploit this phenomenon to garner sympathy.
Group therapy sessions, though designed for patients to bond over shared experiences, can ironically create an environment that fosters competitive victimhood. Because everyone in the group shares similar trauma, some people may overstate their experience in order to seek validation and prove that they lived a more difficult life. By suggesting that there will always be someone who “had it worse,” comparing trauma belittles the personal feelings and experiences of others, which suppresses emotional processing. Instead of feeling understood and supported by people with similar experiences, individuals feel judged for their trauma.
This phenomenon is especially emphasized on social media, usually seen in videos of creators talking about personal trauma. Commenters often try to overshadow the creator and other viewers with their own stories, turning comment sections into a bloodbath of who had it worse. Said Hickey, “It’s another form of one-upping that confers some kind of pseudo-status on the ‘winner.’”
Some may argue that engaging in the competition is a valid coping mechanism since it is a way for people to share their struggles. However, competitive victimhood also has a negative impact on individuals who actively use their trauma to gain sympathy and aid. Those who have had their experiences diminished are susceptible to feelings of self-doubt, denial and a dangerous hesitancy to bring up issues that deserve to be addressed.
For those who are deemed “winners,” Hickey warns that “the ‘most severe trauma’ award is a pyrrhic victory. There is only a momentary boost of pseudo-self, an inflation of the ego that results. Ultimately, nothing is really won.”
In fact, there is a profound cruelty in the status of being the “winner” in the Trauma Olympics. When people are defined by the “victim” label, it shapes the formation of many high school students’ experience. “There is increased awareness of how the past contributed to social-emotional issues,” said Hickey, “which contributes to identity formation.” By centering their worth on their suffering, their focus shifts away from genuine processing and healing, and is replaced with the false satisfaction of being perceived as the most wounded.
Pain will never be lessened or eliminated through comparison, so instead of belittling others and themselves, individuals should turn to healthier alternatives. Unlike comparing trauma, simply sharing trauma can foster connection, empathy and learning to make sense of the past.
Ultimately, the Trauma Olympics is harmful because it encourages the invalidation of personal experience. Instead of downplaying others’ trauma, individuals should learn to seek and support communities with others going through similar experiences. Said Hickey, “Processing, consciously integrating and coming to terms with the moral injury of trauma is where any real progress can be made.”
